Saturday, September 10, 2011

Q. What do James Buchanan, Jessica Simpson, and Bao Xishun all have in common?

A. They're all dead?
A. None of them have ever been audited by the IRS?
Possibly... but that cannot be confirmed at this time.

The correct answer is, all three of them have been adult virgins. They belong on a short list of world-famous adult virgins! Bao Xishun was also named the tallest man by the Guinness World Records, which automatically made him the tallest virgin. Hans Christian Andersen? Kierkegaard? Sir Isaac Newton? Joan of Arc? Hitler?
Well.. that last one is actually a relief! Many of the individuals on this list died a virgin, while others were cured of Chronic Virginity.

On one hand, it is safe to conclude that many of these famous adult virgins had other things on their mind (philosophy, soaring up the pop chats, genocide, etc.) than sex. One may assume that a woman like Joan of Arc probably wasn't thinking about getting laid, but we do not know for certain. Perhaps she was shy. She had the incredible ability to voice her opinions about the injustices of the time, and even DIED for her country... but what if the fact is she became painfully shy around her crush? What if she had an inability to communicate with her love interest? This is just one of the symptoms of Chronic Virginity, and had NYCAVR been around when she was alive, she would've been cured of that condition (of course, New York would've needed to be in existence as well).

So, if this list of famous adult virgins speaks to others suffering with CV, we at NYCAVR want to help. NYCAVR will work very, very hard to find a cure for you... we have to make up for centuries of adults who slipped through the cracks!

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